The Eternal C.D. Bales

whitepaperquotes:

this is rather long but it’s definitely worth the read!

So how did I spend my Memorial Day?  I did a bit of grilling and drank a beer and made a cake.  What did my STBXW do all day?  Lay in bed crying, sweating, shivering, and have muscle aches because she is having withdrawals-again.  

She says she doesn’t do this on purpose, but for the past year, every holiday or special occasion has been ruined by her actions or in many cases withdrawals.  This time the withdrawals was caused by her giving her friend too many of her own stock and expecting to get them back.  She got only half of what she gave back and is now having a really bad attack.  She doesn’t get her refills till Friday too, so I am looking at a very long week.

I can’t wait till Junkie Bastard has to put up with this.  I wonder how he will handle it?  As sick of it, as I am, I still pity her many times over.  It’s hard for me to see her suffer and yet she caused this to happen.  I’m exhausted and I hate telling my daughter that her mommy is feeling ill for one reason or another.  There will come a time when that lie will no longer work and what then?

Source: lovequotesrus

(via ataraxic-sleep)

Yesterday Emma and I texted for a brief moment and she told me that she was seriously glad that I ventured into the scary unknown and came by her place Friday night and that I didn’t let my social anxiety get a hold of me.

I told her that going to her place knowing there would be a group of people, as frightening as it was, it was worth it just to see her because I missed her greatly.  She replied by saying that she was glad that it was worth it.

She then told me that her family and her best friend really liked me.  I was incredulous about this and asked her if she was certain that was true.  I told her that most people think I am either weird, mean, or a mutant.  She said that no one felt like that and that they liked me.  I don’t exactly buy it, because I know that people can be two-faced.  However, I am happy that she believes her family likes me.  She loves her family greatly, so it’s important for me to be liked by them.

I am missing her again already.  I just hope that we will see each other again soon.  But I know nothing is guaranteed and everything is still up in the air.

Last Friday, hours before she invited me to her place, she was determined to send me this pic.  I told her that she didn’t have to go through the trouble and could have just told me what the pic was, but she didn’t want to.  She really wanted to send this to me and it took her four attempts and a phone reset to send it to me.  

She has never done that before.  Usually she will give up if she can’t send me a pic, but damn she was so determined and was in a state of glee when I finally got it.  I think we are now at that stage when we can try to gross each other out or to see who can say the most crassest thing possible.  The game is on!

Source: lovequotesrus

Source: lovequotesrus

Source: lovequotesrus

(via loveisalwayslost)